Dead blog is dead

Probably won't be updating this any more. Try http://www.anna-ghislaine.tumblr.com

Starfucks

I had a look at Starbucks today. They charge 35p extra for soya milk. Fuck that shit. I shall continue to patronise Costa.

9-9

I do hate having a day ending at 9pm followed by one starting at 9am. As I leave work I think 'I'm going to be back here in 12 hours'.

Oops

Ahaha, the newsreader on ITV news just mis-spoke 'gauntlet of Spurs fans' as 'gauntlet of sperm'.

Apparently I'm Irish

A few days ago one of my co-workers asked me if I was Irish. I asked him if it was because of my red hair, but it wasn't; it was my voice. He reckons I sound Irish. Which I find rather funny, as I've been told by a real Irish person that I sound English as fuck.

Today we had a floating manager in, who asked the same thing! He asked me where I was from, I said here, and he said, "Oh. You don't look English."

What.

Also today a customer approached me and asked if I spoke English. That's a really bizarre question to ask a staffer in an English shop (as opposed to one signposted as Polski Sklep or summat) in England.

Do I just not look English?

Naughty food

I had a bastard yoghurt yesterday. I was cracking one off to put in my lunchbox, when the one next to it popped its seal, so I had to eat it there and then. It made a reet mess everywhere when I opened it and again when I put it on the table, and again when I gave it a stir. I was too cross to eat it after that. Food should not fight back.

Not dead

Still alive; been busy with ending uni and moving back home. More posts here and to the gaming blog coming soon, hopefully.

Radio 4

Why the cunt doesn't the website tell you what damn frequency the station is on?!

Anything for £2 is always tempting

Today I saw a PDA keyboard marked down from £80 to £2. I was tempted, even though I have no use for it, and it was unergonomic and rubbish-looking. But I ought to stop picking up stuff I'll never use just because it's cool. I used to have a German-English dictionary of mechanical engineering terms. I had no use for it; it was just funny to have. I got rid of it because it was quite a fat book and took up a lot of space.

Cakey cakey cakey cake

This cake is so damn sticky I've probably got more of it stuck to the inside of my face than in my tummy.
I can't even talk properly; I can only articulate some angry mooing sounds.

Large Hadron Collider

I was just watching some videos about the ATLAS Detector in CERN's Large Hadron Collider (Large Hardon Collider! Lolololol) and thinking about the supposed remote possibility that when it gets turned on it will form a waypoint that will act as year zero for time travel (in other words, if time travel is invented in the future, the activation of the LHC will be the earliest point in time they'll be able to travel back to). (Though it's more likely that this will happen.)

I reckon there's Matrix-like plot to be had in this. Remember the scene in Reloaded in which Colonel Sanders tells Neo he's actually the sixth One? Perhaps this is actually the sixth Large Hadron Collider we've built, but each time we turn them on shit fucks up and spacetime alters so that it never happened. How would we know?

Also, I'm surprised there's been no mention of the LHC on FSTDT (an archive of ramblings from loony religious people). Given that turning on the LHC may create a black hole that destroys the planet, or it may open a portal from the future (which would not only be the most momentous event in history but the end of history), you could so easily spin this into the Rapture or Armageddon. I'm surprised they haven't.

The videos in question:
Technical information on the ATLAS Detector
Overview of the background theory behind the LHC

There's a bottle of old milk in the sitting room

It expired on the 20th of April. No-one knows whose it is, and its existence is a bit puzzling because we're not filthy and we've never left food to go bad before. Someone's put it by the whiteboard with an arrow pointing to it saying 'Satan's cum'. Just thought I'd share that.

WoW on PS3

Using my PS3 yesterday, it occurred to me that it's possible to install Linux on it. Furthermore, Linux can run WoW under WINE or a Windows virtual machine. I have no idea if the PS3 has the right kind of architecture for playing PC games, but if it does this means I could play WoW on the PS3. There'd be no point to this; it would just be wonderfully nerdy. I have heard that Windows emulation on PS3 Linux is painfully slow, though, so it might not be feasible.

More clever marketing aimed at stupid people

Sack of porridge oats: 40p
Sack of same oats, labelled 'muesli base': £1.60

W H Smiths are clever

100 index cards: £1.50. 50 index cards labelled 'revision cards': £2.

Bleurgh

I just saw a revoltingly obese woman dressed in a t-shirt with the words 'Mrs David Tennant' on it in pink comic sans.

A quick quiz

1. If you have a fully-loaded basket of items to pay for, what do you do?
a) Ignore the '10 items or fewer' (or '10 items or less' as the shops infuriatingly insist on phrasing it) sign on the self-service checkout and use it anyway
b) Go to the normal tills
c) Your mum

2. Having decided to use the self-service, what do you do?
a) Proceed to fuck up scanning every single item, eventually resulting in TWO staff members having to help you
b) Swipe, put in bagging area, repeat. Obey the massive fucking bold-type instructions on the screen as necessary
c) ARNO

3. Do you and your friend fail so hard at using shops that both of you have to attempt to use the self-service checkout together?
a) Yes, we're such fuckwits
b) No, I'm not that big a moron
c) It's bees. Lots of bees, with no heads.

Mostly a: Congratulations, you are a cunt! I would kick out your sex if it wasn't illegal.
Mostly b: Congratulations, you are probably not a cunt.
Mostly c: I really couldn't give a shit, you mong.

I joined a queue behind 4 people (technically 5; two were together) for the self-service checkouts, as I had only 3 items. The queue for the normal tills had around twice that number of people. First three people in my queue whizzed their items through, boosh, job done. The stupid bastard couple just ahead of me then took their turn with their fully-loaded basket, and proceeded to dither and bollocks up pressing all the buttons. By the time the other queue had dwindled to zero, they were still at it. And still at it as I'd paid for my things at a normal till and was leaving the shop.

Today has been very confusing for me.

I didn't know who Charlton Heston was until today. I'd previously thought he was the leader of the IRA, not the NRA.

Woo, I'm in New Scientist

“The instructions on Anna Ghislaine Williams's bottle of energising ginseng gel read: "Apply coin-sized gel to palm of hand and spread behind ears, neck and face." Would that mean inside the nasal cavity?”

http://www.newscientist.com/backpage.ns?id=mg19726492.300

Mistranslation